Monthly Archives: June 2015

Rough day… Easy ending

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This day just seemed out of sync…. Nothing specific, just “wonky”

My Granddaughter is marrying a wonderful guy who loves her dearly, but we can’t attend the wedding because all the “slots” are full… Mixed feelings… Are we even wanted there, or is this telling me what she really thinks of us ( me )?

Trying to put insurance on other granddaughter’s car but can’t connect. Try harder or back off? Do I use my money for my own bills and let her struggle ?

Rear end a big beautiful truck on the way to my insurance agent. No visible damage to his truck but smashed front on mine. 😟 However, nothing is leaking on my car ( thanks, God) and it drove just fine.

Unexpected phone call from someone far away and a long, loving conversation. So good to talk with old friends.

Just looked on Facebook and there are photos of my beautiful granddaughter and loving husband getting married looking so sweet and innocent and naive.

Thank you, God, my car runs, no one was hurt, my son and his wife got to be at the wedding and I’m home safe in bed.

And to my Ex…

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Thank you for the four beautiful children.  The three you gave me and the one you helped save from a forced adoption so “no one would know”.  Things were so different those days…parents so worried about the judgment of others.

I know it was often very difficult for you… Vacillating between feeling tricked and trapped and feeling okay with our love.  I know you did the best you could at the time.   There really was no graceful way to leave me.. especially when I was so desperately fearful of being alone.  I worshipped you.  I should have just loved you and kept the worship for God.  We were so young and really barely knew each other.  And naive, so naive, both of us.  We were children raising children.

I think you have been happy with Her and that, actually, is good.   You gave me many years, trying, and you should have peace now and happiness.   You have begun to spend time with our boys in recent years and healing has happened.  They love you.  And that beautiful son of yours with her wouldn’t be here if We had lasted.  God really does work things out for our best if we trust Him … Even if we see no way for it to turn out well.

So many things we might have done differently, could we do it over, but then we wouldn’t have become the people we are today.  I have come to peace and forgiveness and you owe me nothing, not even remorse. 

Life is too short for regrets.  Peace and joy are attainable.  God is faithful to complete the work He has begun in each of us. Phil. 1:6

An Open Letter to the Wife of My Ex-Husband (You know who you are)

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I would just like to thank you for your help in getting that lying, cheating man out of my home and life. I totally believed and meant the vows, “keep only unto him“, “for better or worse“, and “till death do us part” and would have stayed with him through a long and lonely life if you hadn’t stepped in and helped him leave our home.
I would never have cheated on him or looked for a better husband or, heaven forbid, launched out alone through life without your help. Although I fought with all my might to keep him, after he really was gone, I discovered a wonderful person — Myself, I was so busy trying to keep him from cheating on me, from putting me down, and trying to get a response from a cold, emotionless shell, that I was failing to develop as a person, and let the cheerful, creative, joyful side of me find expression.
Yes, I regret it was hard on our children to have their dad divorce them as well, but was he ever really with them anyway? They have grown into fine young men, and our daughter is surviving, though she still searches for a ‘dad’ out there. When he was in our home, our kids actually didn’t have much of a mother either, because I was so busy trying to be a wife, and failed to give myself to them as I should have. I have loved them far more without the distraction and they are soooooo worth it.
God is faithful, and has brought beauty out of the ashes of our marriage. Yes, I’m still alone and enjoying friendships, creative expression, daily work and still growing as an individual. I’m happier than I have ever been, and joy surrounds me! Happiness is so much fun! Thank you with all my heart for setting me free from him.